Could’ve asked us at least.
The Diary of Mad Learning & Development Specialist: Volume 3, Issue 3
“How’s work been going?” I asked my dad, like I usually do during our weekend catch-ups.
At first he shakes his head, then presses his lips together.
“Mannnnnn, let me tell you what they got us doing now.”
He explained a new process was rolled out that ended up using a lot of the team’s time. It also had steps they didn’t fully understand, which led to frustration. We both felt like there were good intentions behind the changes, but it also felt like they were blindsided.
Your decisions affect others
After he was done, I sat with it for a moment. Our decisions affect other people. If we don’t talk to them, we risk isolating them. And honestly, that’s inefficient and inconsiderate, both things I don’t rock with.
If you haven’t already, you make decisions that affect others. And you’ve probably skipped the step of involving the right people at some point.
In my experience, that happens because we try to save time, assume people won’t mind, feel like we just “have to do it,” or think they’ll resist anyway so what’s the point.
A lot of that comes from struggling to give up control. It reinforces the idea that the right call can only be made by us, and has to be made by us.
Using my dad’s story as an example, what if they talked to his team?
Could they have made the process better? More effective? Or at least helped them understand the why behind it?
Make them part of the success
When you involve others, they become part of the success of the process, project, or initiative. You uncover the kind of information you can’t get on your own.
People can tell you the real story of how it affects them. They can show you the limitations. The human side of it.
That behind-the-scenes understanding is what separates good teams and organizations. They’re not afraid to dig deeper to get the full picture.
I had a chance to do this myself while working on a new process for handling incoming questions. I wasn’t the one taking the questions, two of my teammates were.
I could’ve just made the process and handed it to them.
But I knew it was important to understand what they needed and how it would affect them.
So far (still a work in progress), we started with a sample process, got their feedback, and they came back with key edits and decision points. We agreed they should own certain decisions since they’re closest to the work.
Accepting others’ influence
Just because you have decision-making power doesn’t mean you have to carry it alone.
The Gottmans, known for their marriage research, talk about accepting your partner’s influence as a key to long-lasting relationships. I think that applies way beyond marriage.
There’s no perfect way to do this. It looks different depending on your role. But here are a few things that have helped over time:
Lead with suggestions, not commands. People will show you what you’re missing.
Ask: “How would this affect you if we did it this way?” That gives you a real view of impact.
Be honest about who makes the final call. Is it a team decision, or does one person decide with input? Clarity builds trust.
Follow up. Don’t just listen, actually consider the feedback and explain what you changed and why.
As I grow in my career, I feel this more and more.
One of my top 10 CliftonStrengths is “Includer,” which is about wanting to give people a seat at the table. But like my CliftonStrengths coach once reminded me:
An invitation without influence is useless.
So it’s not just about inviting people in.
It’s about actually letting them shape what happens next.
That quote is a good reminder of why we need others.
Not just to move faster, but to actually move better.
What are some of your favorite ways of including people?
